Well, I am not the director in my installation group project but I did have an idea for it. And since I have not met with my film group yet I guess I need to blog about my own idea. I thought it would be interesting to have live actors performing a scene showing a girl and boy meeting for the first time and carrying out the first tension laden conversation to start an ensuing courtship. The catch is, they are wearing oversized white T-shirts which have images of them saying what they are really thinking projected in a film on their bodies. The conversation would be humorous and sometimes the actors will almost seem to be aware of the other's public thoughts but most of the comedy and tension will come from the interplay and dichotomy of what they are saying and doing live in front of the audience and the film of their thoughts shown on their bodies. It will draw attention to the way people follow a script when interacting with new people and will offer an experience of what it would be like to really be able to read people's thoughts.
The most challenging part of this idea would be to get the actors to stay positioned optimally for the projection without seeming stiff and akward. But a good actor will be able to overcome this challenge. A possible "bonus feature" of this presentation could be getting audience members to come forward, don a white T-shirt and answer a few pre-decided questions. The punch-line would be that after they answer each question, a projection of a close-up of a mouth on their white T-shirt answers the questions in a way that seems more blunt and humorous. We would have to be careful to pick good-natured people and almost type-cast the volunteers at the end to match the punch-line to the questions we have prepared.
This whole skit would be done with humor and the questions would remain light with punch-lines that are obviously meant to be jokes.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Norwood Check
Norwood Cheek is an inspiring filmmaker with a wealth of fabulous ideas. Watching one of his films, which was filmed with actors taking phonetically backwards and walking backwards so that it would progress through its storyline correctly when played backwards in post production, was watching absolute genius. I have never seen a film that pushed the technical boundaries of filmmaking more- which is the very thing that is so exciting about him as a filmmaker. He pushes his, and every one else's limits. This was clearly apparent in the Cucalorus event 10 * 10 which I attended to watch the music videos created for 10 bands with the catch that filmmakers made the films in less than a week. This turned out to be quite appropriate for the genre because this helped the videos reflect an energy and intensity that only desperation and sleepless nights can fully capture. This energy is the very thing that characterizes the music video genre as a whole.
I guess my favorite video was made by the filmmaker Kruel because it had such a fun, infectious vibe. It really made me get caught up in the playfulness of the piece, I felt like I was watching a kid have so much fun playing dress-up that I wanted to join in. Unfortunately, I was unable to spend much time at the festival (I generally try to get passes to film festivals in this town but this semester has been quite hectic). I barely made enough time to pencil in this screening at City Stage and did not get to stick around to chat with all my fellow filmmakers and film-lovers which is really my favorite part of film festivals but I am so glad I made this event. The energy was fabulous- probably because of the unusual nature of the film "assignment" combining with the end of the festivities in general. But it was disappointing in a way because it reminded me of all the other screenings that I had passed up.
Having Norwood back in his native North Carolina was such a treat- I am so glad our class got a chance to speak to him before the Cucalorus events because he provided us with such an encouraging positive atmosphere that made it seem more feasible to be an experimental filmmaker in this commercial age. It also helped me realize that I need to practice editing with straight cuts to improve my timing skills as an editor because they help bring inadequacies to light. I also enjoyed watching his cut-out animation which was very encouraging for me personally because I am currently working on a very time intensive animation which I hope will be as worth the effort as his piece. Because after the sweat and tears are long forgotten- art remains. I also enjoyed his style using a super 8 camera to film Zoey Deschenel's music video with a more gritty and even historic vibe. He has such a wide range of styles and abilities and his mastery over the different visual styles of his films are evident in his work itself. You can always tell when a filmmaker is legitimate when he allows his work to speak for him. Norwood was so humble and down-to-earth. He did not self-engrandurize his status because he does not need to. His light shines too bright for him to need to tell anyone about it. Some things and some people just stand alone. Norwood's unique filmmaking style puts him in a category that is not only his own, he created it to begin with.
I guess my favorite video was made by the filmmaker Kruel because it had such a fun, infectious vibe. It really made me get caught up in the playfulness of the piece, I felt like I was watching a kid have so much fun playing dress-up that I wanted to join in. Unfortunately, I was unable to spend much time at the festival (I generally try to get passes to film festivals in this town but this semester has been quite hectic). I barely made enough time to pencil in this screening at City Stage and did not get to stick around to chat with all my fellow filmmakers and film-lovers which is really my favorite part of film festivals but I am so glad I made this event. The energy was fabulous- probably because of the unusual nature of the film "assignment" combining with the end of the festivities in general. But it was disappointing in a way because it reminded me of all the other screenings that I had passed up.
Having Norwood back in his native North Carolina was such a treat- I am so glad our class got a chance to speak to him before the Cucalorus events because he provided us with such an encouraging positive atmosphere that made it seem more feasible to be an experimental filmmaker in this commercial age. It also helped me realize that I need to practice editing with straight cuts to improve my timing skills as an editor because they help bring inadequacies to light. I also enjoyed watching his cut-out animation which was very encouraging for me personally because I am currently working on a very time intensive animation which I hope will be as worth the effort as his piece. Because after the sweat and tears are long forgotten- art remains. I also enjoyed his style using a super 8 camera to film Zoey Deschenel's music video with a more gritty and even historic vibe. He has such a wide range of styles and abilities and his mastery over the different visual styles of his films are evident in his work itself. You can always tell when a filmmaker is legitimate when he allows his work to speak for him. Norwood was so humble and down-to-earth. He did not self-engrandurize his status because he does not need to. His light shines too bright for him to need to tell anyone about it. Some things and some people just stand alone. Norwood's unique filmmaking style puts him in a category that is not only his own, he created it to begin with.
Shooting the Self-Portrait
I enlisted the help of my two friends Justin and Melissa to help me film the shots that I was acting in. I began by shooting the bloody tears scene because it is such a strong visual and that is what my film really hinges upon. I painted fake blood on my face and shoulders and filmed it sitting in bed with a blanket around me. I was very careful not to show my clothing because I did not want anything dating the piece or distracting from the world I was creating by characterizing it in an un-intentional way. It was an interesting experience because I had to direct my friends and describe the shots I wanted moments before they filmed me crying. I literally had less than 5 seconds between my role as a director and my role as an actor and that required intense focus. But in a way it also made me feel more confident because I was in control of the scene in the end. This allowed me to try whatever I thought would be visually stimulating without feeling self-conscious or worried that I would mess things up.
Next I shot the sequence with the arabian dream theme. I decided to use this theme because it addresses my sleeplessness and continual exhaustion by making the moments of relief in the film appear to occur in a dream-state. That is also where the opening quote in the film comes from, a longing for the relief of sleep and the pain and fatigue that makes one want to drift off to peaceful sleep for eternity. (This is not like threatening suicide, it is a longing for enough rest. And I often feel that sleeping for 100 years will not take away my exhaustion.) The flowers (poppies) are also significant. They represent peace and sleep (like in Dorothy's poppy field) but they also represent opium. This is because someone who was very close to me fell under the intoxicating promise of nothingness that opiates provide and this lead to a chain of events that are largely responsible for the content of this film. These shots hint at the cause of my bloody tears but they also capture the alluring entrapment of the drug itself. On the flip side, the flowers are not meant to represent that one aspect alone. They also have hearts blooming in the center as a symbol of new beginnings and a healing heart. They indicate both the cause of the suffering in this film and a hope of redemption through new life. To achieve the hazy, red look of these shots I took a long piece of white stained with fake blood and wrapped it around the camera and over the lense. Then I blasted my subject (myself) with light to compensate for the obscured camera view.
Next I filmed the fake blood dripping onto the canvas and which lead to my decision not to include a title in this film. Instead, this shot served as the title in my mind. And what is a better start to an experimental film than "The End"? But this was more than a shot at being artsy- it also indicated the other concept driving this film- it indicates another theme, the end of love.
Shooting the burning canvas was quite an experience because I waited until after midnight and went to a grave-yard and lit it on fire there with the help of a few friends and some lighter fluid. I was disappointed that the canvas held up so well- at first. But upon closer inspection, the "painting" became a multimedia piece of art to go along with my film. Even the randomly thrown match lined up with the "T" as if it was placed as an accent. They say all truly great art is a mistake and while I am not sure how the piece will be received by others it was definitely a fortunate mistake.
I filmed the shot where I am washing the blood off of my hands as a kind of spur of the moment bonus shot and it was not until later that I decided to use it as kind of a bridge in the film that shows the shots of the bloody tears and the dream sequence female fade away in a symbolic cleansing of the subject matter in this film. Even the shot that I chose to use of the magical female where she is closing her eyes in sweet repose- either her death or long awaited sleep is also showing a resolution and an end to this film. It is leaving it all behind- the film was an outlet that served its job and this sequence shows the symbolic washing away of it all. Mirroring the flower concept of new beginnings.
To create the soundtrack for this piece I took an H4n mike to the Unity Church of Wilmington and had my father play the piano and a synthesizer simultaneously for about 7 mins. Before he started, I described the piece and the major visuals and played the soundtrack for "Requiem for a Dream" as inspiration. I also asked for lots of minor chords and a range of intensity that had some pleasant, hopeful moments. Then he took over and his brilliance carried the soundtrack the rest of the way. We only did one take and then I edited it down to the duration of my film in Final Cut. To do this I had to layer multiple tracks on top of each other to make the segments of music that I had picked out of the long take flow together seemlessly. For some of the transitions I even copied one note from a sequence and stretched it out to connect the musical segments. I also layered in all the other sounds in the film by hand, the sound of the blood hitting the canvas, the match strike, the fire crackling, the running water and of course, the crying sounds.
In the editing lab I really focused on making the score match the visuals and vice-versa. I used sound cues for almost all of my cuts and strong visuals were amplified by strong swells in the music. I made my transitions by layering clips and changing their opacity so that I would have more control over their transition speed and to make sure I hit certain clips at the perfect moment to match the sound. I also overlaid a lot of my clips for their sheer graphic quality. I do not want this piece to tell a story- I want it to hint and tease at the things behind it but I want viewers to interpret it for themselves. Whatever a viewer sees in this piece is correct as far as I am concerned because at the end of the day, it is about strong emotions that are known by us all. I just want a strong reaction, I want the intensity of my experience to speak to the intensity of being alive for anyone.
Next I shot the sequence with the arabian dream theme. I decided to use this theme because it addresses my sleeplessness and continual exhaustion by making the moments of relief in the film appear to occur in a dream-state. That is also where the opening quote in the film comes from, a longing for the relief of sleep and the pain and fatigue that makes one want to drift off to peaceful sleep for eternity. (This is not like threatening suicide, it is a longing for enough rest. And I often feel that sleeping for 100 years will not take away my exhaustion.) The flowers (poppies) are also significant. They represent peace and sleep (like in Dorothy's poppy field) but they also represent opium. This is because someone who was very close to me fell under the intoxicating promise of nothingness that opiates provide and this lead to a chain of events that are largely responsible for the content of this film. These shots hint at the cause of my bloody tears but they also capture the alluring entrapment of the drug itself. On the flip side, the flowers are not meant to represent that one aspect alone. They also have hearts blooming in the center as a symbol of new beginnings and a healing heart. They indicate both the cause of the suffering in this film and a hope of redemption through new life. To achieve the hazy, red look of these shots I took a long piece of white stained with fake blood and wrapped it around the camera and over the lense. Then I blasted my subject (myself) with light to compensate for the obscured camera view.
Next I filmed the fake blood dripping onto the canvas and which lead to my decision not to include a title in this film. Instead, this shot served as the title in my mind. And what is a better start to an experimental film than "The End"? But this was more than a shot at being artsy- it also indicated the other concept driving this film- it indicates another theme, the end of love.
Shooting the burning canvas was quite an experience because I waited until after midnight and went to a grave-yard and lit it on fire there with the help of a few friends and some lighter fluid. I was disappointed that the canvas held up so well- at first. But upon closer inspection, the "painting" became a multimedia piece of art to go along with my film. Even the randomly thrown match lined up with the "T" as if it was placed as an accent. They say all truly great art is a mistake and while I am not sure how the piece will be received by others it was definitely a fortunate mistake.
I filmed the shot where I am washing the blood off of my hands as a kind of spur of the moment bonus shot and it was not until later that I decided to use it as kind of a bridge in the film that shows the shots of the bloody tears and the dream sequence female fade away in a symbolic cleansing of the subject matter in this film. Even the shot that I chose to use of the magical female where she is closing her eyes in sweet repose- either her death or long awaited sleep is also showing a resolution and an end to this film. It is leaving it all behind- the film was an outlet that served its job and this sequence shows the symbolic washing away of it all. Mirroring the flower concept of new beginnings.
To create the soundtrack for this piece I took an H4n mike to the Unity Church of Wilmington and had my father play the piano and a synthesizer simultaneously for about 7 mins. Before he started, I described the piece and the major visuals and played the soundtrack for "Requiem for a Dream" as inspiration. I also asked for lots of minor chords and a range of intensity that had some pleasant, hopeful moments. Then he took over and his brilliance carried the soundtrack the rest of the way. We only did one take and then I edited it down to the duration of my film in Final Cut. To do this I had to layer multiple tracks on top of each other to make the segments of music that I had picked out of the long take flow together seemlessly. For some of the transitions I even copied one note from a sequence and stretched it out to connect the musical segments. I also layered in all the other sounds in the film by hand, the sound of the blood hitting the canvas, the match strike, the fire crackling, the running water and of course, the crying sounds.
In the editing lab I really focused on making the score match the visuals and vice-versa. I used sound cues for almost all of my cuts and strong visuals were amplified by strong swells in the music. I made my transitions by layering clips and changing their opacity so that I would have more control over their transition speed and to make sure I hit certain clips at the perfect moment to match the sound. I also overlaid a lot of my clips for their sheer graphic quality. I do not want this piece to tell a story- I want it to hint and tease at the things behind it but I want viewers to interpret it for themselves. Whatever a viewer sees in this piece is correct as far as I am concerned because at the end of the day, it is about strong emotions that are known by us all. I just want a strong reaction, I want the intensity of my experience to speak to the intensity of being alive for anyone.
Art House Reading
It is true that the traditional "art house" and "indie" films are becoming more commercial as their audiences expand and this, in turn, is leading to bigger budget movies masquerading as art house films. (I was not aware that the film, "Passion of the Christ" was labeled "independent".) This ludicrous invasion of the independent filmmaking world forces cinephiles to find even more obscure locations to screen truly noncommercial projects. But I would argue that this phenomena is not all bad.
By making it possible to try more experimental movie-making ideas and concepts in big budget movies, it makes it possible for would-be experimental filmmakers who have formerly been constrained by the classical hollywood style to branch out and stretch their creative limits. Some business-minded filmmakers would love to create rich, original pieces, but their realism keeps them harnessed to projects that are the most financially beneficial. Why is it bad to be well paid for your art? Does that really take away from the artistry itself? Sure, it is making it more difficult for truly low-budget films to thrive in the same venues but it is also getting easier to get a small film to larger audiences through You-Tube and similar video-sharing sites. Small low/no budget independent films can still be viewed at small film festivals (and some larger ones, with a little luck and plenty of skill). I am very glad that micro-cinemas are catering to the "little guys" but I cannot say that I am unhappy that the big fish want to try things that are nontraditional as well.
The downside to all this is the lack of community in many art houses that show the big budget art films. I love going to small film festivals (like the Cape Fear Independent Film Festival here in Wilmington) not because the films are so brilliant- many of them are not- but because of the interaction between filmmakers, film scholars and films lovers. There is nothing quite like being in a room of film freaks who are all getting excited about discussing a film. But this experience is not dead at all- it is just going underground. And when you think about it, that is quite appropriate. Because after all, isn't that where art houses came from in the first place?
By making it possible to try more experimental movie-making ideas and concepts in big budget movies, it makes it possible for would-be experimental filmmakers who have formerly been constrained by the classical hollywood style to branch out and stretch their creative limits. Some business-minded filmmakers would love to create rich, original pieces, but their realism keeps them harnessed to projects that are the most financially beneficial. Why is it bad to be well paid for your art? Does that really take away from the artistry itself? Sure, it is making it more difficult for truly low-budget films to thrive in the same venues but it is also getting easier to get a small film to larger audiences through You-Tube and similar video-sharing sites. Small low/no budget independent films can still be viewed at small film festivals (and some larger ones, with a little luck and plenty of skill). I am very glad that micro-cinemas are catering to the "little guys" but I cannot say that I am unhappy that the big fish want to try things that are nontraditional as well.
The downside to all this is the lack of community in many art houses that show the big budget art films. I love going to small film festivals (like the Cape Fear Independent Film Festival here in Wilmington) not because the films are so brilliant- many of them are not- but because of the interaction between filmmakers, film scholars and films lovers. There is nothing quite like being in a room of film freaks who are all getting excited about discussing a film. But this experience is not dead at all- it is just going underground. And when you think about it, that is quite appropriate. Because after all, isn't that where art houses came from in the first place?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Music Video Project: My role and group evaluation
CONCEPT:
For this project we initially decided to have a gypsy theme for the shoot because we decided to make the video for a song JW wrote and arranged called "Take Me Away". We thought that the traveling that gypsies are famous for would reflect the subject matter of the song and its references to leaving and going someplace, anyplace else. We started trying to get fire dancers, and belly-dancers involved in our project and teamed up with the Juggling Gypsy hookah bar. I really wanted to get pythons from the reptile rescue association but it was decided that we did not have enough film to get footage of them in addition to out other visual ideas.
MY ROLE:
As far as lighting design goes I had to light the inside of the hookah bar at night, while there were customers inside so I had to keep the lighting out of everyone's way. I have shot a film in a dark location before and the footage was much darker in post-production than it appeared through the camera's viewfinder. There were some concerns raised about how much I lit the belly-dance sequence but after seeing the footage it became apparent that all the light was necessary for that shoot. The extra light did not look unnatural or make the image look less mysterious, it just made it easier to see the dancers and focus on their movement. The other two shoots did not require artificial light because we filmed fire-dancers in the dark hoping to focus more on the shapes and motion paths that the fire created. For this shoot, I worked to get all the performers to sign our release forms. For the glow-stick sequence we focused more on the absence of light to show the rhythms created by our glow-sticks to their best advantage. We tried to create as many patterns and types of movement for the glow-sticks as we could within the confines of a very small, darkened hallway.
CREW EVALUATION:
Amy as our director was very conscientious, making sure the group stayed in contact and sending out periodic e-mails to keep us all on the same page. JW was instrumental in this project, not only because he created our song from scratch but also because he planned our shoot times and we filmed the glow-stick sequence at his house. Even the glow-stick concept itself was his brain-child. But more than anything, he was a huge motivational force for the group. He gave me one of the best pep talks of my life when I was recording some of the vocals for the song. AJ was great as our cinematographer, even allowing us to drop glow-sticks on her camera-covered face without flenching or complaining. She also let fire-dancers throw fire-balls in her direction for the sake of our project. But she was not controlling or abusive of her role; JW, Amanda and I were able to film part of the belly-dance sequence. Amanda was super supportive of everyone in our group; she helped me set up my lighting equipment, she helped film when AJ was unable to be present for the entirety of a shoot, she bought the glow-sticks we used in the shoot with me and we also got gratuity tins of cookies for the performers. She also helped me print out all of the talent release sheets.
For this project we initially decided to have a gypsy theme for the shoot because we decided to make the video for a song JW wrote and arranged called "Take Me Away". We thought that the traveling that gypsies are famous for would reflect the subject matter of the song and its references to leaving and going someplace, anyplace else. We started trying to get fire dancers, and belly-dancers involved in our project and teamed up with the Juggling Gypsy hookah bar. I really wanted to get pythons from the reptile rescue association but it was decided that we did not have enough film to get footage of them in addition to out other visual ideas.
MY ROLE:
As far as lighting design goes I had to light the inside of the hookah bar at night, while there were customers inside so I had to keep the lighting out of everyone's way. I have shot a film in a dark location before and the footage was much darker in post-production than it appeared through the camera's viewfinder. There were some concerns raised about how much I lit the belly-dance sequence but after seeing the footage it became apparent that all the light was necessary for that shoot. The extra light did not look unnatural or make the image look less mysterious, it just made it easier to see the dancers and focus on their movement. The other two shoots did not require artificial light because we filmed fire-dancers in the dark hoping to focus more on the shapes and motion paths that the fire created. For this shoot, I worked to get all the performers to sign our release forms. For the glow-stick sequence we focused more on the absence of light to show the rhythms created by our glow-sticks to their best advantage. We tried to create as many patterns and types of movement for the glow-sticks as we could within the confines of a very small, darkened hallway.
CREW EVALUATION:
Amy as our director was very conscientious, making sure the group stayed in contact and sending out periodic e-mails to keep us all on the same page. JW was instrumental in this project, not only because he created our song from scratch but also because he planned our shoot times and we filmed the glow-stick sequence at his house. Even the glow-stick concept itself was his brain-child. But more than anything, he was a huge motivational force for the group. He gave me one of the best pep talks of my life when I was recording some of the vocals for the song. AJ was great as our cinematographer, even allowing us to drop glow-sticks on her camera-covered face without flenching or complaining. She also let fire-dancers throw fire-balls in her direction for the sake of our project. But she was not controlling or abusive of her role; JW, Amanda and I were able to film part of the belly-dance sequence. Amanda was super supportive of everyone in our group; she helped me set up my lighting equipment, she helped film when AJ was unable to be present for the entirety of a shoot, she bought the glow-sticks we used in the shoot with me and we also got gratuity tins of cookies for the performers. She also helped me print out all of the talent release sheets.
Concept for my Portrait
Shot 1: Red paint dripping onto a canvas, eventually forming a heart. (we later discover that the red "paint" is actually blood.
Shot 2: I am sitting along in a dark room crying over the canvas. I look up and it is revealed that I am crying blood.
Shot 3: The canvas with the bloody heart is lit on fire. Paper money is used as kindling for the fire.
Shot 4: Hands scoop up the ashes of the burned canvas.
Shot 5: The ashes are used as potting soil for a flowering plant. This shot will have a dream-like, almost magic quality about it. This is the moment of hope for the future to come out of the destruction of the present.
Shot 6: The flowers are shown in a close-up. They have tiny hearts inside each one- the destruction of first heart has created the ashes that nourished these flowers to grow new hearts.
Shot 7: An extreme close-up shows my lips smiling.
These shots will be edited together with a sound-track that I am having made for this project specifically. It will be inspired by the sound-track for "Requiem for a Dream". It will be in a minor key for the majority of the short with a few major chords to highlight the moments of hope in this piece.
The opening scene shows how something beautiful (a painting) can be created from the pain and even destruction of its creator (bloody tears). It shows how you can work for something (or someone) that you think is worth your blood, sweat and tears. Creation often, if not always, springs up from destruction.
The next visual of the burning canvas is comparable to life taking away the work of art that was created at such cost to its creator. It is life kicking you while you are down, repeatedly. It is the ultimate destructive act; the destruction of the beauty that comes from a prior destructive act. It is the death of any hope that something can come after the incineration of your heart, soul and sense of self are destroyed. Even material wealth is taken away in the flames in the form of currency. It leaves you with nothing. Or does it...?
By using the ashes of the burning canvas to plant a flower, a seed of hope is allowed to exist in the middle of all the dark imagery. This shows that there is redemption even in utter destruction- even when it does not seem apparent that there is anything left, some ashes just might be enough.
The reveal of the hearts blooming in the center of the flowers is the redemption of the piece. It shows how the heart that was destroyed earlier has been reborn in a new form. It allows room for hope and because flowers continue to grow it shows that they will continue to grow stronger and more luscious with proper care. The heart painting has given way to a living, growing multitude of tiny and fragile hearts that can only continue growing.
And a smile is self-explanitory: even though this project represents a lot of inner turmoil and pain, it contains hope for the future and the knowledge that happiness is never truly dead and gone. It's my way of working through some really difficult things but reminding everyone that I will be ok. Maybe it is even to remind myself that I will be ok.
Shot 2: I am sitting along in a dark room crying over the canvas. I look up and it is revealed that I am crying blood.
Shot 3: The canvas with the bloody heart is lit on fire. Paper money is used as kindling for the fire.
Shot 4: Hands scoop up the ashes of the burned canvas.
Shot 5: The ashes are used as potting soil for a flowering plant. This shot will have a dream-like, almost magic quality about it. This is the moment of hope for the future to come out of the destruction of the present.
Shot 6: The flowers are shown in a close-up. They have tiny hearts inside each one- the destruction of first heart has created the ashes that nourished these flowers to grow new hearts.
Shot 7: An extreme close-up shows my lips smiling.
These shots will be edited together with a sound-track that I am having made for this project specifically. It will be inspired by the sound-track for "Requiem for a Dream". It will be in a minor key for the majority of the short with a few major chords to highlight the moments of hope in this piece.
The opening scene shows how something beautiful (a painting) can be created from the pain and even destruction of its creator (bloody tears). It shows how you can work for something (or someone) that you think is worth your blood, sweat and tears. Creation often, if not always, springs up from destruction.
The next visual of the burning canvas is comparable to life taking away the work of art that was created at such cost to its creator. It is life kicking you while you are down, repeatedly. It is the ultimate destructive act; the destruction of the beauty that comes from a prior destructive act. It is the death of any hope that something can come after the incineration of your heart, soul and sense of self are destroyed. Even material wealth is taken away in the flames in the form of currency. It leaves you with nothing. Or does it...?
By using the ashes of the burning canvas to plant a flower, a seed of hope is allowed to exist in the middle of all the dark imagery. This shows that there is redemption even in utter destruction- even when it does not seem apparent that there is anything left, some ashes just might be enough.
The reveal of the hearts blooming in the center of the flowers is the redemption of the piece. It shows how the heart that was destroyed earlier has been reborn in a new form. It allows room for hope and because flowers continue to grow it shows that they will continue to grow stronger and more luscious with proper care. The heart painting has given way to a living, growing multitude of tiny and fragile hearts that can only continue growing.
And a smile is self-explanitory: even though this project represents a lot of inner turmoil and pain, it contains hope for the future and the knowledge that happiness is never truly dead and gone. It's my way of working through some really difficult things but reminding everyone that I will be ok. Maybe it is even to remind myself that I will be ok.
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